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Actually, I ridiculed Tiger Woods LONG before last week. (Or discussed him in order to torment my former cow-orker.) He's still boring. Maybe he needs to hang out with Wing & Lowe.
Once he starts winning tournaments again (wasn't he off with a knee injury for part of this year?), his "indiscretions" will be forgotten.
Right now, I am getting in the holiday spirit by listening to William Hung's Christmas album. I still think it's William's best album. He wisely didn't choose songs like "O Holy Night" or "Joy to the World" or anything that requires vocal cords of steel.
This guy, George Monbiot, was on George Stroumboupoulos' show last week. And he talked about how Canada is a threat to the world because of pollution caused by the Alberta tar sands. The article is quite interesting.
The purpose of Canada’s assault on the international talks is to protect [industries that benefit from refining the tar sands]. This is not a poor nation. It does not depend for its economic survival on exploiting this resource. But the tar barons of Alberta have been able to hold the whole country to ransom. They have captured Canada’s politics and are turning this lovely country into a cruel and thuggish place.
I was posting a comment to an LJ friend about fish (!) and told him that, if he really wanted to see something nasty on the internet, to take a look at a two-mouthed goldeneye caught in northern Alberta. It is believed that pollution from tar sands development caused the mutation. The fish is absolutely gross and ugly and nothing like this mutant fish:
And I thought that Canada's major contribution to climate change was Terrance and Phillip's farts.
Cartman's Best Musical Moments, According to HuffPo.
Kyle's Mom's a Bitch. Second. Best. South Park. Song. Ever.
I absolutely love that song. I knew someone whose mom made Kyle's mom look like Mrs. Sweetness and Light. She was evil incarnate. When I was a child, she taunted me AT MY OWN HOUSE, knowing that I wouldn't react to another adult while my parents were around. And she didn't mellow with age. So, to keep myself sane, I sang the "Kyle's Mom" song to myself, substituting Kyle's name with something more appropriate.
On Monday she's a bitch
On Tuesday she's a bitch
On Wednesday and Saturday she's a bitch
Then on Sunday just to be different, she's a super King Kamehameha bee-atch.
I also used to sing that song about a particularly satanic cow-orker. Until Harry and the Potters came around.
The best South Park song, of course, is What Would Brian Boitano Do.
Sorry, Tiger, you're STILL boring. At least John Daly can be counted on to be entertaining.
My former cow-orker Ray must be doing the happy dance (or would that be the schadenfreude dance) right now. Ray HATED Tiger Woods and enjoyed seeing TW being taken down a peg or two. Or three. Just to annoy him, I would tell him how wonderful Tiger Woods was, and ask him if he had seen Tiger win such-and-such a golf tournament.
I watched "Being Erica" Tuesday night. In the episode, Erica was fired (along with her boss Julianne) and she told Dr. Tom that she regretted having quit a job at a dot-com company before it was bought out; had she stayed, she would have become a millionaire. Like Clarence in "It's A Wonderful Life" (which we will see at least 1,000 times this month), Dr. Tom showed Erica what would have happened if that wish had come true. Millionaire!Erica was idle and unmotivated; she spent her life going out with her idle, superficial friends. When she tried to write a "serious" novel, she was told to try writing the next "The Devil Wears Prada." And then she lost all her money, wound up living with her mother, and had to work at her old telemarketing job. She accepted that the many screw-ups and setbacks that occurred over the course of her life helped build and strengthen the person that she currently was.
The show constantly shows that, even if Erica is allowed to revisit her life's regrets, she can't change what actually happened. I wonder if her acceptance that she had made mistakes over her life and that these mistakes have actually helped provide a learning experience means that she is ready to move on from her therapy and start doing what Dr. Tom has been doing for her. (The show also points out that one never really leaves therapy: one episode showed Dr. Tom going back in time and trying to reconcile with his daughter Sarah. Unfortunately, when Sarah came home, it turned out that Mrs. Tom was a total bee-atch and Sarah ran off again.) I missed one episode a few weeks back; it's probably the one that answers all my questions.
Sebastian (Sebastard) Piggott is also on "Being Erica." He or his planty brother Oliver butchered Elvissongs during their stay on the last season of "Canadian Idol" and therefore deserve to be struck down by a TCB lightning bold for such BLASPHEMY. I liked Earl Stevenson and Mark "Cod Cheeks" Day.
In other news, I went to Dance Fit on Tuesday. I cringed when I saw Mule Kick come into the studio. However, I wonder if someone said something to her because she came on time and she actually gave the people around her (like me) space to work out in too. She even checked behind her before doing back kicks. Hopefully, this behaviour will last.
It's Week 12 of the NFL season. How's your team faring?
Wing and Lowe are now coaching at
8-Drinks8-Rinks.Oh, you meant FOOTBALL teams?
Well, Barcelona beat Real Madrid 1-0. I like their jerseys. (I actually didn't watch NFL football this weekend. Or any weekend, for that matter.)
Right now, the latest Disson figure skating special is on King 5. It's a Christmas show, featuring REO Speedwagon (who I mistook for Air Supply. Silly me.). And a bunch of skaters.
Anyways, I was thinking of Disson skating specials that will never be produced:
- Tribute to Vote for the Worst
- Tribute to Milli Vanilli
- Tribute to the Shaggs
- Tribute to William Hung
- Adventures in Success (with musical guest Carly Hennessey Smithson)
- Tonya Harding and Friends
- Skate for the Liver (hosted by
DrunksanaOksana Baiul) - Fundraiser for D.A.R.E. (hosted by Nicole Bobek)
- Festivus Celebration on Ice (with special musical guest Jason Alexander) - Jason Alexander is actually a really good singer; I'd actually watch this!
I looked at the cast for the shows - Princess Jorbacca is actually singing (howling) in one. It's a fundraiser for underprivileged Wookiees. Disson needs to invite a more worthy American Idol, like Sanjaya.
David Archuleta kicked off his tour a few days ago. One of the songs he performed was a cover of Eva Cassidy's "Fields of Gold." He first heard it when Michelle Kwan skated to it at the 2002 Olympics exhibition.
I'm just glad that he was inspired by Michelle and not by Wing & Lowe.
The Shin-Yokohama Raumen Museum celebrates the joy known as ramen. It opened in 1994.
The lower floor has nine ramen restaurants from different regions of Japan. It was designed to replicate Tokyo in 1958 (Showa 33). According to the brochure:
The mood from the good old days of Showa fills visitor with nostalgia and an appetite to taste ramen. And importantly, instant noodles were invented in 1958. The invention transformed Japan into a nation of ramen connoisseurs.
There was music from the era played through the lower floor. Naturally, there was a lot of Elvis music.
On the way back to the train station, I saw this:
I must tell my evil, Elvis-hating coworker Lord Thingy about all this, so that he could enjoy it too!
On the last Friday of the Month (or thereabouts), I plan to write about a douchebag in my universe. The Urban Dictionary has a number of definitions; pick your favourite one and go from there.
I've already mentioned a few douchebags already here, like BLASPHEMOUS Sanjaya disser BBBBBlake Lewis, Greasy, Sweaty, Song-Stealing Aussie Douchebag Michael Johns, and Dead Wife Danny Gokey. And, I'm sure that next season's "American Idol" will spawn a new crop of douchebags. If not, there's always Randy, Kara, and Simon. While I'm waiting for "Idol" to start, I'll write about some douchebags outside of "Idol" land. Where to start?
Today's douchebag is a regular in the Dance Fit and Zumba classes at the gym. I warmly refer to her as Mule Kick. Mule Kick is a gym diva of the highest order. For starters, she comes into classes late and pushes her way to the front row. Even if the front row is crowded, she expects people to move over and make room for her. I hate to tell her this, but Len, Carrie-Ann, and Bruno are not hiding out in our Zumba class, waiting to sign her up for "Dancing with the Stars."
Once she is in the class, she acts as though she is the only person there. She takes up a lot of space, flailing her arms and kicking her legs, but doesn't respect anyone else's. In the Dance Fit class, there are a few routines that feature doing back kicks. Mule Kick does the back kicks high, like a mule. (Hence her name.) Anyone who is unfortunate enough to be behind her runs the risk of getting their teeth kicked in.
I initially cut her some slack because I thought she was doing what she was doing out of classic newbie cluelessness, but she's been at the gym for several months now. I wonder if she ever got called out on her rudeness. Someone else in Dance Fit gave her the stink eye.
Anyways, for narcissism and rudeness beyond the call of duty, I salute you, Mule Kick.
First, Jamie Sale and Craig Simpson won "Battle of the Blades." Now Donny Osmond (and partner) won "Dancing with the Stars." What's next?
Notice that Sanjaya didn't appear on either show. Big mistake.
