Evil Tracey

Starbucks-in'

nobody@vox.com(Evil Tracey) — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 04:39:19 -0800

Marge: I'd like to see the Japanese take on the club sandwich!  I bet it's
       smaller and more efficient.

Today, I nearly smacked a few people upside the head in Starbucks. The place is packed, there were people who wanted to sit down and eat/ drink (like me), and some of the people in the seats were just sitting there (I guess they had finished their coffee), doing homework or gabbing with their companion. There's nothing wrong with doing that if it's quiet, but if they're not eating or drinking, why can't they vacate the seat for people who are?

I wonder if this happens in Starbuckses around the world. Maybe not in London, because (IIRC) you get charged extra if you want to eat in the store.

Today, I sampled some of the offerings in a Japanese Starbucks. They serve coffee jelly frappuccinos. The coffee jelly frappuccinos taste more or less like a regular frappuccino, except there's little chunks of coffee jelly in the drink. The coffee jelly can be a little difficult to suck up through a straw.

Since it's November, Starbucks is preparing for Christmas (can't they let us get over Halloween first?). Which means that the Christmas blend and some of the Christmas pastries are out. (I didn't check to see if there were eggnog lattes or peppermint mochas, though) Anyways, my favorite Christmas-related item is this thing called a Cranberry Bliss Bar. It's a gingerbread brownie -type of thing with cream cheese icing, topped with chopped dried cranberries. When I was in London a few years back, I ordered one there; it was a gingerbread cake topped with cream cheese icing and chopped dried cranberries. In Tokyo, it's a gingerbread brownie type of thing, but it tastes a bit different and I don't think that there's a cream cheese icing.

The Starbuckses in Japan also sell these really cool Thermoses - but they're 3,800 yen. Ouch.

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Test post from iPod touch

nobody@vox.com(Evil Tracey) — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 19:31:40 -0700

Did I ever mention that I really hate typing on this little keyboard?

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Halloween is fast approaching

nobody@vox.com(Evil Tracey) — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 22:46:27 -0700

We are having our branch Halloween party. Sadly, I don't have a costume, so I will probably have to dig my Harry Potter stuff out of the closet. Unfortunately, most of my HP stuff is unwearable, unless I'm outside at the REAL Hogwarts.

This scarf is about 3 mm thick and handknitted from Peruvian wool ~~by house-elves~~. I only wear it when there's ice on the ground. I have a matching Hatmione. And I still have yarn in that colour, so maybe I should make some Hermittens, too. (All I can say is that the Sorting Hat suggested Ravenclaw to Hermione, but she chose Gryffindor.)

Hmm. Never thought Homer was a Ravenclaw.

Speaking of house-elves, I also have these socks (inspired by the ones that Dobby made for Harry in Goblet of Fire):

Dobby's Socks

Lord Thingy could go as infamous skating coach Nikolai Morozov. (He already has the Morozov Coif O' Doom; all he needs is more styling product.) Only Lord Thingy uses his evil brain to think; Morodouche uses another portion of his anatomy. Alternatively, if he wears the specs, he could go as his fellow hot and anointed being Danny Gokey. All he would have to do is sing "Scream On" and sully Michael Jackson music. Unlike Elvis Presley (his former father-in-law), Michael Jackson is dead.

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Finally, I get to watch "Battle of the Blades"

nobody@vox.com(Evil Tracey) — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 02:49:10 -0700

...which is not a sequel to I, D'Oh!Bot. (That's the episode where Bart entered a battling robots contest, and Homer masqueraded as the robot.)

Today's Simpson's episode is a rerun (stupid World Series!), so I watched Battle of the Blades. Sadly, CBC has not seen fit to put Sanjaya on the show. Reality TV just isn't reality TV without Sanjaya. No one has rocked the ponyhawk yet, either.

There was some commentary about the remaining five couples from RandyPaulaSimon, uh, Dick Button and Sandra Bezic. I didn't bother watching it. It made my brain hurt.

Yu-Na Kim (current world champion) will be skating on the results show, hopefully not to "Pauler" music or anything written by Krappy Kara.

Ken & Jodeyne (James Brown's "I Feel Good") - I have no idea who either of them are. They did a nice flippy thing at the end and she stuck the landing. The judges liked them.

Shae Lynn & Claude (Stevie Wonder's "Superstition") - Shae Lynn looked like she stuck her finger in a light socket. A ponyhawk would have looked a lot better. Unfortunately, I was so busy mocking Shae Lynn's hair that I forgot to watch the program. Claude had a nice shirt on. The judges were relatively mehh. I think.

Marie-France & Stephane (James Brown's "It's a Man's Man's Man's World") - Enjoyed it, although I thought it relied too heavily on the lifts. The judges enjoyed it, too.

Interesting bit where Paul Martini was showing the guys how to deal with a lift gone bad.

Tuffy (Christine Hough) and Tie (don't know the song) - Okay. Relied too much on the lifts, too. I like Tie Domi, though.

Jamie and Craig - I can't stand Jamie Sale (she and David have given me serious hypoglycemia from their syrupy skating over the years), so I hate anything that this team might do. I actually didn't watch them because I had to take a phone call during their program.

ETA: Ken and Jodeyne were eliminated. I still don't know who either of them are. Since the Simpsons are in reruns for the next 2 weeks, I will get to watch next week, too.

I saw an article in the Globe and Mail about the Simpsons' 20th anniversary this year. Has it really been that long? Bart and Lisa should have moved out years ago!

And Marge is in this month's Playboy! I thought she hated Playdude, I mean Playboy. There was an episode where she trashed all of Homer's vintage Playdudes (Bart salvaged them and converted his tree house into the Playdude mansion).

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QotD: Return on Aisle Two

nobody@vox.com(Evil Tracey) — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 13:20:11 -0700

Have you ever returned an item to a store for a refund after having used it?
No, but I had a cow-orker who did that all the time. She was constantly buying things at the mall (a couple of blocks from our office), wearing them once or twice, and then returning them. Some of the people in her work area told me that she did this so frequently, she was actually banned from at least one store in the mall.
I didn't believe that she did that until I went up to her work area one day to ask one of her colleagues something. Cow-orker had her back to me...and a tag was sticking out of the neck of her shirt.
That behaviour was tacky enough. What made it absolutely disgusting was that she had poor personal hygiene. (Which was probably why she was busted for return fraud and banned from the store.)

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Simpsons "Treehouse of Horror"

nobody@vox.com(Evil Tracey) — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 03:36:58 -0700

Once again, I am missing Battle of the Blades to watch the Simpsons. The "Treehouse of Horror" episode aired early this year. Stupid World Series.

In the first part, Lisa and Bart spoofed "Strangers on a Train." They made a deal to get revenge on each other's adversaries: Lisa would get Mrs. Krabappel and Bart would get Miss Hoover. Only Bart actually killed Miss Hoover (and Principal Skinner, too). In order to fulfill her part of the bargain, Lisa would have to kill Mrs. Krabappel. Lisa decided to go after Bart instead.

In the second part, Krusty introduced the Burger-Squared at Krusty Burger. The cows used in the Burger-Squared were fed meal made from other cows (ewww!). When Kent Brockman took a bite, he turned into a zombie. Soon, the rest of the town turned into zombies too.

Part 3 was a musical that seemed to be a spoof of "Sweeney Todd." In this case, Homer was accidentally killed when he fell onto the beer tank at Moe's. The errrr, enhanced beer turned out to be a hit. And Marge found Moe less creepy after she had a sip of it.

Oh, and Kang and Kodos made an appearance, too.

Battle of the Blades is okay, but there's nobody really BAD on the show. Someone needs to pair up with Sanjaya. It's not a reality show unless Sanjaya is on it.

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Evil does NOT wear a bonnet!

nobody@vox.com(Evil Tracey) — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 20:58:43 -0700

Today, I noticed that my evil, Elvis-hating cow-orker Lord Thingy was wearing glasses. Just like the ones that another hot and anointed being wears:

Jitcrunch.aspx

Yes, it's true. Lord Thingy really IS taking after Hokey Gokey. I wonder if he has 200 pairs like Hokey. And I wonder if we'll ever get to hear him "sing" "Scream On." I can't believe that Hokey has a recording contract.

Danny-gokey-eyeglasses-bnr

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My family is ludicrous, and other rants

nobody@vox.com(Evil Tracey) — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 21:56:26 -0700

So right now I have been stewing over some crap that a relative - or specifically, a relative's SO - has been giving me. He likes criticizing me over how I live my life. What really makes him annoying is that the criticism comes in the form of little digs or snipes. For example, I recently made a comment about going to the gym, and he goes "I don't know how you can stand exercising inside; I'd rather exercise outside." Or, if I mention a T.V. show or sporting event: "Oh, I don't watch T.V. [or follow sports]" On another occasion, he asked me if I was going to be going anywhere on vacation, and I replied that I was planning on going to Japan. He said "Isn't Japan really expensive?"

I replied "It doesn't have to be. If you stay at five-star hotels and eat at Michelin restaurants all the time, of course it's going to be expensive." (Obviously, since he doesn't watch T.V., he has never heard of Rick Steves*. He probably hasn't heard of the Let's Go series of guidebooks either.)

He said "Well, I just heard that Japan was a really expensive place to visit."

"I just won't buy any square watermelon while I'm there," I responded.

Anyways, the little snipes and digs are always delivered in this "I'm-ever-so-superior-to-you" tone. No, you're not superior. YOU'RE A FREAKIN' POSER!

Square-watermelon

By the way, I found an article on how to grow your own square watermelon.

ETA: And apparently the person who prided himself on being a Luddite just acquired a laptop and is setting up the wireless. Hypocritical much? I think I will go eat some square watermelon and go to bed.

*Yes, I am aware that Rick Steves focuses on travel in Europe (although he has done a show on Iran; very interesting although I'm still not sure what to eat when I go to Teheran). But his point about travelling through the back door is sound and can apply to a lot of regions in the world.

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The Simpsons meet The Battle of the Blades

nobody@vox.com(Evil Tracey) — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 03:45:28 -0700

The shows were broadcast in the same time slot, so I did a lot of channel switching.

Mrs. Krabappel (who has the stereotypical miserable life of a Singleton - whatever happened to Principal Skinner?) got annoyed with her class and confiscated their cell phones. As revenge, Bart had the class collect as much booze as possible, and substituted it for her coffee. Mrs. Krabappel was fired for channelling Wing & Lowe, and Bart felt guilty. So he decided to help her with the help of a book called The Answer (a parody of The Secret).

The episode was pretty good, but felt like a mix of "Bart The Lover" (Bart answers Mrs. Krabappel's personals ad pretending to be a millionaire) and "Seymour Skinner's Badasssss Song (Bart gets Principal Skinner fired.)."

Bart has an iPhone or Blackberry Storm - how could Homer afford it?

Battle with the Blades pairs up female figure skaters with hockey players. This week was arena rock week. Sadly, Sanjaya did not show up to sing "You Really Got Me." So I actually don't remember what happened. (Note to CBC: get Sanjaya.) Next week is Frank Sinatra week, and Don Cherry will be a judge.

Anyways, Adam and Allison didn't perform "Slow Ride," so I have nothing more to say. I didn't vote. (I don't like Jamie Sale or Barbara Underhill, and I would rather listen to Archuleta music rather than vote for them. And there's nobody Vote for the Worst-worthy.)

I still think that Wing & Lowe should get their own reality show.

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Tonight's "Simpsons" Tonight!

nobody@vox.com(Evil Tracey) — Sun, 27 Sep 2009 20:36:59 -0700

Comic Book Guy created a comic book starring "Everyman," a superhero that takes on the powers of every comic book he touches. (It was published by Bongo Comics, which also publishes the Simpsons comics. Matt Groening was quite happy because Everyman was making him rich.) He then negotiated the movie rights with a Hollywood studio, and had the option of picking the actor cast as Everyman. Homer blundered into the auditions, and A STAR WAS BORN.

The producers wanted Homer to get into shape for the part, so he started working out with a personal trainer (who was a name-dropping phony). In a miracle only achievable by animation, Homer became as ripped as Ned Flanders. Unfortunately, once the personal trainer left, Homer returned to his old form (undone by cheese cubes!).

You can get collectible Simpsons figurines with KFC Family Meals. Too bad I don't like KFC, or KFC Family Meals.

Homer decided to try losing weight the bulimic way, with a little help from Apu (buttermilk from 1961). It didn't work. So he went inside his trailer and refused to come out. (He wasn't as fat as he was when he became obese so as to be classified as having a disability.) The producers decided to try a little creative editing.

The producers made another deal with Comic Book Guy - if he could convince his legions of internet dweeb fans that the movie was the greatest movie ever, he could direct the sequel.

Overall, a pretty good episode. Homer was a twit, but not Jerkass Homer. Comic Book Guy was pretty funny (usually, he's annoying.) However, I wonder why the Android's Dungeon still exists. Didn't it go out of business when Coolsville came to town?

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