149 posts tagged “american idol”

We are having our branch Halloween party. Sadly, I don't have a costume, so I will probably have to dig my Harry Potter stuff out of the closet. Unfortunately, most of my HP stuff is unwearable, unless I'm outside at the REAL Hogwarts.

This scarf is about 3 mm thick and handknitted from Peruvian wool by house-elves. I only wear it when there's ice on the ground. I have a matching Hatmione. And I still have yarn in that colour, so maybe I should make some Hermittens, too.  (All I can say is that the Sorting Hat suggested Ravenclaw to Hermione, but she chose Gryffindor.)

Hmm. Never thought Homer was a Ravenclaw.

Speaking of house-elves, I also have these socks (inspired by the ones that Dobby made for Harry in Goblet of Fire):

Dobby's Socks

Lord Thingy could go as infamous skating coach Nikolai Morozov. (He already has the Morozov Coif O' Doom; all he needs is more styling product.) Only Lord Thingy uses his evil brain to think; Morodouche uses another portion of his anatomy.  Alternatively, if he wears the specs, he could go as his fellow hot and anointed being Danny Gokey. All he would have to do is sing "Scream On" and sully Michael Jackson music. Unlike Elvis Presley (his former father-in-law), Michael Jackson is dead.

Today, I noticed that my evil, Elvis-hating cow-orker Lord Thingy was wearing glasses. Just like the ones that another hot and anointed being wears:

Jitcrunch.aspx

Yes, it's true. Lord Thingy really IS taking after Hokey Gokey. I wonder if he has 200 pairs like Hokey. And I wonder if we'll ever get to hear him "sing" "Scream On." I can't believe that Hokey has a recording contract.

Danny-gokey-eyeglasses-bnr

Ellen will be the fourth "Idol" judge! Unlike, say, Simon, Ellen actually likes the show and respects the people who appear on it.

I am sad that Krappy Kara will continue to be a part of the show. Kara brings absolutely nothing to the show; she basically duplicates Randy, who is completely useless in his own right.

I know who could replace "Pauler" on American Idol! They'd even be more lucid than she is! (I'd also suggest Lord Thingy, but he would just insult everybody, and Simon already does that.) If Idol cans Krappy Kara, they'd have enough cash.

Wing & Lowe's favourite American Idol judge has announced that she is not returning to "Idol." Why couldn't it have been that no-talent hag Krappy Kara, or Stoopid Shill for Fox And/Or 19 Randy? Hopefully, this is all a publicity stunt (and Krappy Kara quits because people keep throwing rotten fruit and vegetables at her).

Meh. I need a drink.

Okay, I promised myself that I wouldn't diss Danny Gokey now that "Idol" is over. (Oh, who am I kidding?) But then I heard about this. Twerpy Ryan Seacrest and KIIS FM (a radio station in LA) are hosting a contest where the prize is an all-inclusive DREAM WEDDING in Beverly Hills. Hokey Gokey is the entertainment at said wedding.

Now, would Hokey Gokey sing "Jai Ho" at said wedding? And would he promise not to reference his dead wife? (You know he will.)

I got the American Idol tour date wrong. Apparently it's passing through Vancouver TONIGHT.

The Hot and Anointed One Who Isn't Danny Gokey returned to the office. He sent me an e-mail. I was full of trepidation because I thought it would be full of mean comments about how Michael Jackson has joined Elvis in nirvana, but it was actually some photos that he took of Homer and Marge Simpson. (Wow...getting to meet the Pope and the Simpsons! How the hell did he get so hot and anointed?) Perhaps his visit to Vatican City has taught him that with great power (or rather, the state of being hot and anointed) comes great responsibility and that he should say nice things about Elvis and not be mean to Elvis fans. Perhaps there is hope for Danny Gokey after all.

I can't remember if I mentioned that Krappy Kara got married over the weekend. Ewwwww. And the buzz is that Pauler will be back.

So, here is what the former Cardinal Rat Bastard had to say about unfettered capitalism:

“Profit is useful if it serves as a means towards an end,” he writes. “Once profit becomes the exclusive goal, if it is produced by improper means and without the common good as its ultimate end, it risks destroying wealth and creating poverty.”

Which still doesn't explain how Lord Thingy got in to see him. President Obama and the douchebag who is the Canadian PM will be visiting the Pope sometime this week. How did Lord Thingy get to have something in common with them? I mean, I'm a far better (and nicer) person than he is. I even say nice things about Elvis Presley.

In other news, the American Idol tour rolled through town today. I celebrated the occasion by wearing an argyle sweater in the tour colours of my least favourite contestants (I also couldn't stand Matt Giraud).

Oh, and Michael Jackson's memorial service was held today in LA. I missed it, although I hear that Jennifer Hudson sang.

So the Jonas Brothers (whoever they may be) will be in town this week. And Princess Jorbacca will be opening for them. I wish I could go and throw something at Princess Jorbacca.

The Idols tour comes to Vancouver next week. I didn't want to pay $78 to see Hokey Gokey, so I'm not going. I'll bet that Lord Thingy is taking his kids to see Gokey.

Paula Abdul has a Twitter feed. She showed up at rehearsals for the Idols' summer tour the other day, and this is one of the things that she had to say:

speaking of last night...danny gokey and matt g. can really pole dance- who knew?! lol
about 23 hours ago from mobile web

I just got some disturbing visual images in my head. I hope that she meant that Hokey Gokey can dance with Polish people, or that he's good at Polish folk dancing.