39 posts tagged “lord thingy”
We are having our branch Halloween party. Sadly, I don't have a costume, so I will probably have to dig my Harry Potter stuff out of the closet. Unfortunately, most of my HP stuff is unwearable, unless I'm outside at the REAL Hogwarts.
This scarf is about 3 mm thick and handknitted from Peruvian wool by house-elves. I only wear it when there's ice on the ground. I have a matching Hatmione. And I still have yarn in that colour, so maybe I should make some Hermittens, too. (All I can say is that the Sorting Hat suggested Ravenclaw to Hermione, but she chose Gryffindor.)
Today, I noticed that my evil, Elvis-hating cow-orker Lord Thingy was wearing glasses. Just like the ones that another hot and anointed being wears:
BLASPHEMY!
May Elvis show up in Chicago and bitch-slap Blago into another dimension.
Tomorrow is August 16, which means that it's the anniversary of Elvis Presley's alleged demise. (Elvis allegedly left the building 32 years ago.) I almost forgot about August 16, because Lord Thingy didn't say anything mean about me or Elvis last week.
This is what he did on the 30th anniversary of Elvis's alleged demise:
One day I will have to visit Graceland. I want to see Elvis's house. And his cars. And his plane.
I got the American Idol tour date wrong. Apparently it's passing through Vancouver TONIGHT.
The Hot and Anointed One Who Isn't Danny Gokey returned to the office. He sent me an e-mail. I was full of trepidation because I thought it would be full of mean comments about how Michael Jackson has joined Elvis in nirvana, but it was actually some photos that he took of Homer and Marge Simpson. (Wow...getting to meet the Pope and the Simpsons! How the hell did he get so hot and anointed?) Perhaps his visit to Vatican City has taught him that with great power (or rather, the state of being hot and anointed) comes great responsibility and that he should say nice things about Elvis and not be mean to Elvis fans. Perhaps there is hope for Danny Gokey after all.
I can't remember if I mentioned that Krappy Kara got married over the weekend. Ewwwww. And the buzz is that Pauler will be back.
So, here is what the former Cardinal Rat Bastard had to say about unfettered capitalism:
“Profit is useful if it serves as a means towards an end,” he writes. “Once profit becomes the exclusive goal, if it is produced by improper means and without the common good as its ultimate end, it risks destroying wealth and creating poverty.”
Which still doesn't explain how Lord Thingy got in to see him. President Obama and the douchebag who is the Canadian PM will be visiting the Pope sometime this week. How did Lord Thingy get to have something in common with them? I mean, I'm a far better (and nicer) person than he is. I even say nice things about Elvis Presley.
In other news, the American Idol tour rolled through town today. I celebrated the occasion by wearing an argyle sweater in the tour colours of my least favourite contestants (I also couldn't stand Matt Giraud).
Oh, and Michael Jackson's memorial service was held today in LA. I missed it, although I hear that Jennifer Hudson sang.
Fortunately, my blog is obscure enough that I can make fun of Hokey Gokey without his legions of followers finding out. So, since I don't have anything else to write about, I think I will mock Hokey.
On Friday, the Zidane and Friends soccer game was postponed. Zizou threw his back out trying to lift his kid up to see Canada Day fireworks. So now he has time to go take in the Idols tour show (he can say that he was taking his kids) and give Hokey Gokey a coup de boule. Excellent. While he's at it, he should give Michael Sarver a coup de boule as well. And maybe Matt Giraud.
Maybe Hokey could sing a cover of La Plage's song Coup de Boule on his upcoming album. In French, of course. (He'll probably sing a lot of boring songs that reference the dead wife, though.)
Speaking of hot and anointed people, isn't Lord Thingy due back in the office? I guess he and Benny talked about how much they both hate Elvis and how being an Elvisfan is something on the papal naughty list.
Alain de Botton received a crappy review on his latest book from the New York Times. He responded as follows:
"I will hate you till the day I die and wish you nothing but ill will in every career move you make. I will be watching with interest and schadenfreude."
Wow. This is almost as good as Anne Rice's "You are interrogating the text from the wrong perspective. Indeed, you aren't even reading it." Only I can actually make some use from this quote. Maybe I will use it on the Other Hot and Anointed One, Lord Thingy. The original hot and anointed one was:
(How the hell did Lord Thingy get in to see the Pope, anyways? One of my coworkers who attends his church saying that the officiating priest was telling the congregation just how hot and anointed LT is this week. I think I just might lose my lunch.)
In other news, the Zidane and Friends soccer match will be on Saturday, and the American Idols tour rolls into town next week. I wish that the promoters of these shows had joined forces and combined the two. Danny Gokey could sing the French song "Coup de Boule," and then Zinedine Zidane could join him onstage and give him an actual coup de boule. (Of course, Gokey can only wish that he were a fraction as hot and anointed as Zizou. No one has written a book called La melancholie de Gokey, have they?)
Someone has said nice things about Sanjaya! About time! As I have said before, Sanjaya is cute and sweet. Many of those jerks on that show with him are neither.
The kid is completely covered in bug bites, has done some of the nastiest tasks ever, and yet, he hasn't bitched at all about anything. And while Patti [Blagojevich] takes any opportunity to whine about how sucky her life is, he's never griped about how he was basically America's whipping boy and the butt of every joke and is now seeking redemption. He just does his thing, and for that we're grateful.
In other news, my evil, Elvis-hating coworker Lord Thingy will be getting an audience with the Pope. That's right, The. Pope. That guy with the white outfits who lives in that nice house in the world's smallest country. How did Lord Thingy manage that? I am at a complete loss for words. (Maybe the Pope hates Elvis, too.)
And Adam Lambert made the cover of the Rolling Stone. (Yep, he's gay. Yawn.)
And yes, he talks about his sexuality. “Right after the finale, I almost started talking about it to the reporters, but I thought, ‘I’m going to wait for Rolling Stone, that will be cooler,’ ” he tells us. “I didn’t want the Clay Aiken thing and the celebrity-magazine bullshit. I need to be able to explain myself in context.
Who's Clay Aiken? (Wait...isn't he that guy that sang with Michael Sandecki in an Idol finale one year? Second best finale moment ever...best was Sanjaya singing with Joe Perry.)
USA Today discussed the RS article...I thought this part was interesting:
When Idol producers put him in a room to share with Allen, Lambert says his first thought was, "They put me with the cute guy. Distracting! He's the one guy I found attractive in the whole group on the show: nice, nonchalant, pretty and totally my type — except that he has a wife. I mean he's open-minded and liberal, but he's definitely 100% straight."
I wonder what the "Kradam" fans are thinking. ("Kradam" is this season's answer to Season 6's "Cake.")
*authentic David Archuleta quote.
Blame it on the lack of Hokey Gokey news. According to his Twitter, he slept in and missed three radio interviews. Honestly.
I overslept and missed 3 radio interviews....i feel so stupid.
8:43 AM Jun 1st from web
And he's been going on talk shows dressed like Kim Jong-Il. Maybe Kim Jong-Il should get himself a pair of Hokey Gokey specs. Kim Jong-Il probably has all of Hokey Gokey's performances recorded and is telling everyone in Pyongyang who will listen to him (that's EVERYBODY; he's Dear Leader after all) that he's as good a singer as Hokey. Of course, the only thing that everyone in Pyongyang has to go by is Hokey's performance of "Scream On."
Kim Jong-Il had the opportunity to sing in that blockbuster musical Team America. Really. You be the judge over who sings better.
In other news, I spent last week at the parents' house, thereby proving
Lord Thingy's thesis that they moved without telling me incorrect.
Sadly, Lord Thingy doesn't believe me. I spent two days of quality time
with him this week. He didn't say anything mean about Elvis Presley.
Perhaps this is a trick.
